Talking to Myself or Sleeping Beauty

So after such a long time without posting maybe I am blogging to myself but since this is as close as I come to keeping a journal so I guess it's not as bad as talking to yourself. Here are some pictures to give you an idea of what we have been doing here.

Dallin having a summer nap. Rare but beautiful.

Rasberries! Yum we picked these ourselves at Grandma Sharon's house.

Blurry but they were so beautiful and I can't seem to delete the pictures tonight for some reason.The best brother sister combination on the Cross Country team.

Torin's first temple trip. Torin's turns 12! Roan's summer mug shot. '09 Eavan's too. Marin turns six! Thanks Grandma You really know what a girl likes. Pretty Pink and Six. Summer kite flying at the new house.Repeat. Marin- picture hair and clothes done by Kieran. Birthday cake with merry go round on top.Brayden turns 16!!!!!!!!!!!! Dallin gardening with Grandpa. Helping is the best fun. Marin's kindergarden graduation program.Kieran and Torin Hamming it up.Brayden in concert dress at the end of last school year 08/09. Kieran's Seventh grade Orchestra Trip to Lagoon.The First place and Overall Competion first place trophiesKieran in concert dress 08/09 school year.Marin at Kindergarden graduation with her teacher and cousin Maren Nichols.

Happy Today

I feel happy today. For the most part i am not an unhappy person. I like many things and I am easily pleased by a lot of simple things. Lately though there has been some stress in my life beyond the ordinary. Paul being laid off, Paul getting a job for 1/3 less salary, dentist trouble, trying to finish a house without spending any money, car dying, moving, to name a few. These things have been weighing on me even when I am not giving them direct attention. This excess seems to make it easier to let the little things get to me. So each day I work a little harder to maintain my floating boat and I have been getting a little tired lately. Then a week like this one happens. Okay there was one big hairy dentist appointment in it that I thought just might kill me and it wasn't even for me but after that the week has been day after day of good things. The pace has been incredible but I can take it if the rewards are equal to the stress.
Kieran went to competition in Utah with her Orchestra. They took first place in the orchestra division and first overall in the competition. Torin had a concert in the park. They were great. The weather was beautiful and the music took me back to my own band days. Brayden played in the high school orchestra concert and someone gave me an extra ticket wich was lucky cause it was sold out. Yes, they are that good and it was one little bit of heaven after the morning I spent crying in the dentist office. Kieran and Eavan had concerts the next night. Kieran looked like a dream and the middle school ochestra is worth a special trip just to hear them. Eavan was part of a fourth grade area choir concert and they sung some fun songs that I haven't heard in a long time. I had lunch with Eavan and it seems that kids have been giving me a little extra love here and there this week to top it all off . Today I just feel happy. All the burdens are still there but I don't feel them weighing on me as they did just last week. I hope spring has arrived where you are and brought you a happy day too.

Words Can Not Describe

It seems like those word mean something horrible but this time they mean exactly the opposite. I have been sitting here trying to choose words for the title of this post but none seem right. They just don't convey what I saw as I drove away from the school this morning.
Today was Midieval Day at the middle school. The teachers have been preparing us for months. Several notes came home with little blurbs about the mini classes they would be able to choose, small details of what to expect and they always ended with a comment about how appropriate it would be to come in costume. Kieran loves drama and costumes are fun stuff here. But usually just kind of what our creative brain can concoct out of the dress up bin. This time Kieran was hoping for something a little more authentic. We started early looking for items to use from the D.I. (local thrift store). We found one or two things but not a whole costume so we opted for renting something from the college.
The Costume shop on campus is dress up heaven. We had a helper, I can't remember her name, who took us into the shop. She showed us the small period sketches of things typical for the time period . After honing in on the particular era that interested us she started moving racks. Clothes racks just doesn't give you the right impression so let me explain. Each rack was probably about five feet wide, eight feet tall, thirty feet long and so many of them that the open space in the room was limited to the entry and about two ailses of space to walk between the racks. These racks are so large and so many that you would never be able to see the costumes without the motors which move the racks to open the desired ailse down the rack you want to look at. The costumes are put in order by era. We started with the earlier times of what could be considered mideval and or rennisance. Our helper went down the row picking out the ones that would be small enough to fit Kieran. If not for our helper we might still be there. There are so many costumes. Each one she pulled out she would ask Kieran if she liked that one. You might think that any one would do, but you know, not all of those dresses were pretty. So we left the weird or ugly and piled up the pretty ones to try. After our arms were full and the prospects exciting we went out of the shop and into the sewing room where there was a dressing room.
Then the fun really got started. It reminded me of nothing so much as the Chrismases we went shopping for wedding dresses. I would get the dress off the hanger crawl into the top with both hands out in front of me like going through a low tunnel and pile the dress over my arms slinky style. Then I would turn and drop the folds over the top of Kierans head. She would catch the arms of the dress with hers and voila instant renisannce princess. I wish you could have been there. In the end we liked two of the dresses best. One was an orange gold color with red trim and a fur collar. It looked like maybe a viking princess. The one we chose was pink (if you know Kieran's taste in color and clothes you know this is a surprise) The bodice was trimmed in wide flowered ribbon and the sleeves were puffy sheer fabric under the same ribbon woven to make decorative sleeves. It was a beautiful dress.
Kieran took the dress home and hung it in her closet for today. This morning she was up early. She said she couldn't sleep she was so excited. She ate and dressed quickly. Then we started on the hair Kieran has pefect hair it is about waist lenghth. So I started braiding. First I did a braid around the top like a crown but she said no way to authentic (translation: too fancy) Next I pulled it half way out and braided it back from the other side and around till I met up with the braid I had made first. This was much simpler and the two long tails of the braides hung down the back. This was much more what she had in mind. Last we tucked a couple of handkerchiefs into the bodice for modesty sake and she was ready to go. I dropped her off at the school and turned my car around to leave. As I looked back down the side walk and saw my beautiful girl hurrying into school. I got a little teary. I still can't put into words what I saw and felt but I think it does have a little to do with princesses. It was not really about the hair and the dress.
We are busy everday with our everyday lives. The things that need to get done and the things we want to get done fill the hours. I try to choose carefully just what I will put in the time I have. I have been taught that what we do and the choices we make are important. I have been taught that we are all children of God. I belive these things in my heart. Today as I saw Kieran going into school I think I saw these things with my eyes. My own princess went to school today. She was not the only one. I feel like I am always greatful for my family and friends. I love them. I wouldn't want to be here without them but I think because they are always with me and are all brilliant people I can forget how special they are. Today as I watched Kieran go into school I was a little dazzled by her and reminded just how special we all are. Princesses and princes. You really are impotant people.

Night Games and Mourning

Night games, Ghosts in the Graveyard, No Bears, Capture the Flag, any of these sound familiar? Last Saturday the teenagers at our house hosted night games. Twelve youth gathered at our house to play. When they were all gathered they went out t0 the way back and started on the games. Kieran and a couple others came late because of the Young Womens Broadcast. It was above freezing and most of the snow had melted so it is officially spring in Rexburg. There were few trips up to the house for supplies but nobody wanted to quit, even when the drizzle started coming down. At 9:30pm parents started showing up to pick up their kids the group came in happy and excited. The conversation full of instant replays of exciting insidences and near misses I took as a good sign that things had gone well. We had only a couple of minor injuries due to unseen tree limbs or stumps. It was a real treat to see these kids enjoy themselves. They almost sounded like my little one when it's time to go home after a play date. "Do we have to go now?" "Can't we stay a little longer?" It was a fun time even for me. After all the kids were picked up Kieran and Brayden came in to sit on my bed and tell me about the games. It was just so fun to sit with these almost grown up children and share in their excitement. The fun that they had come to share with me! their Mom! I'm so grateful to my children for the love they still give. I will always treasure the memories of them as babies, their soft baby skin and little round sturdy bodies, the baby talk and hugs and wet slobbery kisses. These things are great memories but I am so glad that they are not all. I am glad for the moments we have now that they are big the intelligent observations they make, the desire I see in them to do right, their testimonies, the questions about things that are hard and what it was like for me as a young person, their tall growing bodies, the hugs, the dry kisses and their willingness to still share laughter, happiness and love with me. I am so happy there continues to be more. I love my children.

So where is the mourning? You see it's my cell phone. It went out to the Way Back for night games and didn't return. No it was not new or expensive. It took only marginal pictures and I had no way to send them to any one or down load them to my computer. I even have another one just like it in my sock drawer. So why the mourning? It had the sim card with it that I have had since Arkasnsas. I will never be able to replace all the numbers that were on that card and I am so sad to lose them. It's almost as bad as losing friends. Feel free to call me to console me in my grief, so I can get your number back.

Hibernation

Winter in Idaho is deep and snowy. The more it snows the deeper it gets. It doesn't melt in between times. The boots and the snow pants go to school every day. I enjoy the snow as long as I don't have to drive in it. Lucky for me they get enough of it here that they plan to plough and usually the roads aren't to bad. This winter I have felt like hibernating. Last year not so much. I think with Paul's new job and moving I felt more like the old farm families that spent the winter months busy with activities that would bring them money in spring or restore items that got worn during summer. This winter, not knowing what the spring will bring, I have been an animal of conservation. I am really good at this. This has been my coping mechanism of choice for many years of my life. It has been quite a while since I've used it though and have been a little surprised to find myself hibernating again. In days and times past I was waiting for something bad to happen. I didn't want to be caught unaware and therefore unprepared. If it wasn't necessary it wasn't done. It took some time and effort to overcome the desire to wait and actually discover what I wanted to be doing. Now I am back to waiting but it is not by choice it is one of those circumstances for which I had stopped waiting. When Paul was first laid off I wanted to gather all my resources. I wanted to be done with projects and check all my support connections across the country and be ready for the long winter if it came to that. After Christmas the preparation was over and the waiting had begun. The snow was coming down as if on cue and I was settling in for winter. Now spring is coming. I can see patches of grass in the yard. My Mom was here a couple of weeks ago and we were busy with some projects that felt like waking up a little. Since she has gone home I think I just crawled back under the covers of my den. I just keep thinking "Five more minutes, Mom." I am finding it hard to know what I want to do without having a clear vision of where my family will be. So what have we been doing? Hibernating. The regular things for the kids have continued school, projects, homework, house cleaning, fish feeding and not much else. We must continue to wait for Paul's job situation to work out but I am beginning to think, under the covers, of what I want to be doing. I really can't stay under much longer. But also can't face coming out until I know I have decided what I can and want to do. So I haven't pushed myself out just to sit in the dark and keep waiting. Just Five more minutes REALLY.

Life is Good

Today's my brithday Yippeee! New clothes in the closet, money from Grandma, great book from a friend and French Silk pie on it's way,Not to mention a new e-mail and my own "space" to blog which is pretty sweet! And to top off the cake I'm now an official teenager. Life is Good
P.S. If you want to read my blog please leave your e-mail as a comment or somehow get it to me so I can invite you

Happy Birthday to a three-year old!

D is a.... Part of the clan

Big smiler

Great lover

HUUGE Sneeker

Big Boy

Curious Monkey

Independent Youngen

Triumphant boy

Cookie Dough Lover
D we love You-- Happy Birthday!,
Your Family

Once Upon a Time... part II

So Jared and his brother began to gather all that they had and spread the word, to their family and friends who had not been cursed, to gather all they had and head for the North valley. When all had arrived the Lord came to them in a cloud and helped them begin their journey to the promise land. God wanted this little population to be successful. He traveled with them in a cloud. He taught them and asked that they begin now to keep the promise that Jared had made so that they would be ready when they arrived in the promised land.
Now these were good people but not unusual people. They began to try to keep the promise. Sometimes they succeeded other times they fell short. Many found that, like the brother of Jared, if they prayed and were grateful they could do many great things. They built barges and traveled far following where ever God directed. They began to be capable and knowledgeable. They were good at most everything they did but they forgot how they came to be that way. They forgot to pray and be grateful, even the brother of Jared. So God left them to get what they could on their own and waited for them to remember their promise. After four years God grew tired of waiting. He went to the brother of Jared and reminded him of all that had come before and all that could yet be if they could keep the promise made by Jared. God said that if the brother of Jared could forget then all the people could forget and then he, God, would not be able to give them what they had truly desired because they had forgotten to do their part.
Now The brother of Jared felt his heart break as the Lord reminded him of the many mercies and gifts given to him throughout his life and to his family and friends. In that very moment he began to apologize to God with his broken heart and bind back the pieces by remembering his promise and strengthening it with gratitude.
God could see the change in the brother of Jared and knew that he would not forget again. So he told the brother of Jared to go to work and he did. He started right away on the new barges the Lord said they would need to continue their journey. Seeing the brother of Jared working as God directed reminded Jared and all the people of their promise and they began to work also. They did such good work and followed direction so well that when the barges were finished they kept out water perfectly. When the door was closed not a single drop of water could get inside. They were small and light so they moved easily on the water. They were amazing but the brother of Jared noticed two things as he inspected their new sailing vessels. When the doors were closed no fresh air could get in and it was pitch black inside. He had followed directions exactly so when he found these problems with the barges he started to pray, as was his renewed habit. God answered his prayer by giving him more instruction about how to make holes in the barges that could be opened and shut as fresh air was needed. The brother of Jared and the people went right to work on these new instructions and finished quickly. They were anxious to begin their journey but they still didn't have a solution to the second problem of light inside the barges. Again the brother of Jared asked God for a solution hoping that they would not have to cross the ocean in darkness. This time God's answer was different than all the answers that came before. He asked the brother of Jared how he would like the problem to be solved and the brother of Jared didn't know. The Lord had already explained that windows wouldn't work when he gave instructions about how to get fresh air and fires in the barges would be to dangerous. Jared didn't have a good answer either so he told his brother to take some time and think about it. Jared's brother took his advice and went up into the mountains to think. He went over and over the problem like a riddle looking for the one correct answer. He was afraid to go back to the Lord and ask for help with the wrong one. As he thought about light and how to get it he had an idea. God had always given light to his soul when he asked for it and he was able to keep that light in his soul if he made a place for it. He just needed something to keep the light of God in while they traveled. He was still concerned about finding the right thing though. He didn't think just any old thing would due but he could think of many things that would work. Which one was the right one? He didn't know but he picked the idea he liked best. That was clear stones. He knew how to make them from molten rock. He worked carefully and did his best hoping all the while that he had chosen correctly. He made two small perfectly round stones for each of the barges. Then he took them in his hand to the very top of the mountain to pray again. Looking down at his pile of small clear stones he started to worry. He worried so much that he began his prayer with an apology for not knowing exactly what the Lord wanted already. Then went on to explain what he thought could be done and asked the Lord to help by touching each of the stones and filling them with his perfect light. When the brother of Jared laid down his stones to be touched God reassured him that his best answer was the right answer and if his best answer had been apples he would still have picked the right thing. There was no one right answer. What mattered most was that he believed that the Lord could make his efforts into one of those answers filled with perfect truth, like he had recieved so many times in the past.
The Lord began to touch the stones one by one. The brother of Jared watched as the stones began to be lighted. Then he saw the finger of God as he touched the next one in the pile. He was so afraid he fell down right there and hid his eyes. The Lord saw this and told the Brother of Jared to get up and asked him why he had fallen. The brother of Jared explained that he had seen the finger of God. The Lord said that the brother of Jared's belief had allowed him to see what no one had seen before. The Brother of Jared then saw not just the finger of God but his whole body and learned many great things before he returned to the valley and his brother.
The people rejoiced at seeing the brother of Jared and were even happier when they saw he had with him the solution to their last problem. They could go! They packed the barges immediately. The brother of Jared placed two stones in each vessel. One at each end to light the dark when the doors were closed. As Jared and the rest of the people boarded their vessels and closed the doors they began to understand, maybe for the first time, about God's light. That if they kept their promise to be faithful giving their prayers and gratitude and obedience to God they would never have to travel in darkness of soul and he would light all their faithful solutions as they traveled through the world.
The promised land was everything the Lord had told them it would be. Jared and his brother found peace. They prospered and had many children. They kept their promise to God and taught their children how to keep it and enjoy the light of the Lord, both in their hearts and in the world. Every generation there after enjoyed the same inheritance as long as they kept the promise.

Once Upon a Time...

...there was a young man with an older brother named Jared. Jared was handsome. Jared was tall. He was also honorable, wise, strong, kind and very good at everything he did. In fact, Jared was so amazing in all ways that, people only seemed to recognize the young man as Jared's brother. So that soon became the only way that people spoke of him was to call him the brother of Jared.
The brother of Jared was not jealous he did not mind and usually introduced himself to people as the brother of Jared. He was not without his own merit but he had to work hard to achieve his own wisdom, strength and improvement in his personal endeavors. Often he did not know how to achieve the thing he had set his mind to, the things that came so naturally to his brother. So he got in the habit of praying. Then as he went about his business he would listen with his heart for the guidance he had asked for. Sometimes the advice he received was simple and from a kind neighbor. Other times it was something he would never have thought of. Every now and then it was something that would be difficult and require personal sacrifice but the answers always stood out for their perfect truth. This habit increased until the brother of Jared prayed about most everything. He remembered to thank God for all the assistance and remained humble even as he increased in his endeavors. God remembered his gratitude.
In an uncertain time, surrounding the building of one tower said to be as great as Heaven in it's perfection, there came a great curse upon the land. It began with those boastful builders who claimed their creations were equal to and could reach heaven's perfection. First just their boasts began to be misunderstood then not only their boast could not be interpreted but all of their communications were confounded. Then it spread to there families and soon the curse began to spread like a disease through the whole land.
Jared was worried. So far he had escaped but he was anxious to be able to speak and understand at least one person but did not know how it could be done. Then he remembered his brother. The one who so often seemed to be able to talk to God and understand his replies. Jared went to his brother and asked him if he would ask God to not confound the language spoken between the two of them. So the brother of Jared took this petition to the Lord in prayer. God heard and answered his prayer by not confounding the language of Jared and his brother. Jared was very pleased until he returned home to his house and his beautiful wife greeted him at the door. It struck him that his life would be a misery if he could no longer speak with his wife and what of his children and parents. He went straight back to his brother and told him of his concern. The brother of Jared agreed to speak to the Lord again and the Lord had compassion on him and all his family and friends. They were spared the curse and they were happy, until the curse had spread to every other inhabitant of that land.
The people who were cursed looked at that family and their friends who could speak together and give company to each other by the fireside and they were angry. They did not want tobe reminded of all they had lost they began to say in their hearts that it was Jared and his brother who had stolen their happiness. They started to plan how to drive them out.
Jared began to see that if they were to remain safe and happy that God might allow them to be driven out of their homeland but he did not want to go. So he went to his brother again and asked if they were to be driven from their homes and if they were to be driven out where would they go? The brother of Jared did not know but said he would ask. Then Jared said if he was going to ask God could he also inquire whether there might be a choice land of peace and prosperity that they might still have an inheritance for their children if they could not keep what they had. Then Jared promised if God would provide for him and his family he would be faithful unto God.
So the brother of Jared prayed again and again he received an answer. The Lord said to gather all that they had flocks, fowl, seeds, and all those who had been spared the curse and to go into the valley North of their land. From there he would lead them to that choice land they had asked for and bless them and all their posterity if they kept the promise that Jared made. God said he would do all these things for them because of the brother of Jared's habit of prayer and gratitude. To be continued.

IT'S DONE!!!!! and IT"S COMING TO YOU!!!!

Finished 15 minutes before 9:oo p.m on a Wednesday night I now have a faith stories book! Oh the JOY! the FREEDOM! :-) IT'S FINALLY DONE!! With 13 or 14+ hours of typing, editing, printing, and putting in sheet protectors it's done! (Though it will keep expanding over the years.) Thank You for all your help! Start Checking your e-mail and mail box's your copy IS COMING! :-)
Kieran

Last Call

Hey it's Kieran! I am finishing up on my Faith Stories project. Just in case I didn't call you or you forgot I am putting up this post. I'm nearly finished with my project but this is the last call for stories. I have stories from Grandma and Grandpa Abbott (I found your book grandpa), Elise, Ian, and One of my YW leaders. If you have a story you want to submit please could you send it to me today? Thanks for the stories you have already sent me me they're great!
Kieran

Christmas Memories

Even though the holiday is well over I can still share with you the memories. They were particularly sweet this year. Being jobless during the Christmas Season is not an experience I would ever look for but has brought many tender expressions of love and kindness that we never would have had if this had not been our situation this year. I had some initial trouble getting into the spirit this year. I was struggling to keep my anxiety in check as all the normal things that go by without much notice seemed to each be carrying baseball bats and having a whack at me instead of moving on quietly. I started praying for help to be calm, have peace over the things that were beyond my control and feel like the Lord remembered us. Soon bit by bit I could see and feel the things I had been praying for. Gifts started appearing on the doorstep. Cards came in the mail. Phone calls would come at just the right moments to cheer me up. Family, neighbors and friends nurtured and blessed us at every turn. Soon the scripture came to mind about blessings pouring out and not having room enough to receive them. The fridge was full, the pantry was full, our hearts were full. There would be money for little necessities and gifts. We had a family council about how we could have a good Christmas and use our resources wisely. We decided on a "Family Christmas". We would have gifts not so much for individuals but for the family. There are a lot of things we enjoy together and if the money did not have to be divided so many times over we could spend it on some good gifts and some important things too. The day came and I was a little nervous to see if the kids could really enjoy gifts for everyone. My worry was for naught. The morning was the best Christmas I can recall. Everyone was pleased and happy. The "Family Christmas" really carried a special spirit of unity. No one was worried about how much they got or who was touching their stuff. They had all things common among them and it was a beautiful thing. Here is my group each wearing something new and looking cool, so not quite all things common among them. Then this is them with some of the gifts they received as a family.